It’s crazy, right? You are falling for someone who is really attractive and you’re too scared to say anything because they are just so…perfect. How could someone that fit and beautiful have any problems? Okay, you know better–everyone is human and has their own problems. Unfortunately, you still feel small when you stand next to this gorgeous person.
Gender stereotypes tend to rear their ugly heads too, despite our better judgement. If a guy is muscley, we assume that he is tough and emotionless. We assume a beautiful girl is defined by certain interests and only dates a certain ‘type’ of guy. All of these judgements are just plain wrong. Your skewed perspective may make the other person feel bad about themselves and it will definitely make it harder to get a date. It’s great that you’re interested in someone so attractive, but try to put their looks aside and remember that everyone has secrets of their own.
Secrets of Handsome Guys
Don’t cave in to Hollywood’s propaganda that all men act a certain way and that handsome men can’t commit, are obsessed with what car they drive and can only express their emotions if it’s through a sports analogy. (We’re onto your tricks, Hollywood!)
- Guys like to cuddle – All human beings like to be held and comforted. Humansliterally need physical contact with other people to survive. Don’t assume that a man is going to be surly about cuddling. And let him be the little spoon from time to time.
- Guys will say the “L” Word – Hollywood strikes again; all men aren’t terrified of saying they are in love. If a man doesn’t want to say the “L” word, don’t assume it’s because he’s ‘just a man’. Men are capable of expressing their emotions too, you know. If your significant other can’t bear to say it, then it’s probably less about his masculinity and more about your relationship.
- Guys can get performance jitters – Just because a man is attractive, even if he assertive and experienced does not mean that he is always going to feel confident in the bedroom. There is a lot of pressure on men to perform, so don’t become another one of those pressures. He’s just a person, he gets excited and nervous like anyone else. Don’t belittle him or his masculinity; be flattered that you make him nervous and treat him like you would want to be treated.
- Guys can get depressed and have emotional issues- Handsome men aren’t all sawdust between the ears. They have feelings and problems too. It all comes back to the exterior vs. the interior; don’t judge a book by it’s cover, or your own gender stereotypes. Be sensitive to your guy’s feelings and don’t treat him like an unshakeable wall or a handsome face. Many men feel pressured to bottle up their feelings by society and family, particularly their fathers. Be the person he can be open with; nobody should have to be ‘tough’ all the time.
- Guys want intimacy too- Of course they do. Don’t believe the whole “men are only interested in one thing,” line. If they were, men would never get married, have kids, etc. There are some men, of course, who are not looking to commit to a relationship, but the same could be said for plenty of women. That’s more about finding out if you two have the same goals in a relationship and less about men being incapable of commitment.
Secrets of Beautiful Girls
The media really has made our work difficult for us. We are bombarded constantly with commercials featuring beautiful women and showered with photos whenever we go online. As a result, girls are misunderstood just as much as guys are.
- Girls don’t friend-zone the nice guys- A lot of guys lament that they are being “friend zoned” by a beautiful woman, or that “Nice guys finish last.” Some people do have relationship issues where they crave rejection or sabotage themselves with the people they choose to date. However, if a beautiful girl doesn’t want to date you, it’s not because you’re too nice. It’s because she doesn’t want to date you, simple as that. As one clever person said, you can’t treat a woman like a candy dispenser where you put in nice favors and sex comes out. If you are just being nice so a woman will hook up with you, she will never be interested.
- Girls masturbate – It’s the truth. Just like guys, female humans also have a private sex life.
- Girls don’t prefer handsome, bad boys- Most women are actually not as obsessed with looks as you might expect. Most women are attracted to a man based on other characteristics, particularly his sense of humor. Other traits include passion, confidence and honesty; not the bad boy at all. Don’t base your assessment of women on the high school romance in 80’s movies. Girls who are looking for a relationship usually value humor, stability and personality over looks and an obnoxious attitude.
- Girls want to be included- Don’t assume a beautiful girl can’t hold her own in your favorite activities. Odds are she’d love to come along and participate in whatever you’re doing. She wants to show that she likes spending time with you and you may wind up with some new activities you can share. She’ll probably want to include you in some of her daily tasks and activities too.
- Girls do not like to be complimented publicly Catcalls are out. Women do not like to be approached like their appearance is their only important asset. Think about it; how many guys have seen this girl and shouted out some comment about her hair or eyes? How do you think she feels having strangers commenting on her face as they walk by? If you want to really impress a beautiful girl, talk to her and get to know her before dishing out the compliments. Ask her about her t-shirt or her bike and treat her as more than a pretty face.
It is hard not to jump to conclusions about the beautiful girls and handsome guys we see in ads every day. We imagine that their lives must be perfect and that they must have it all together. The truth is that nobody is perfect and life has its ups and downs for all of us. Don’t be daunted by a guy or girl’s appearance and don’t treat them like some kind of super model alien. Treat them like a normal human being, be genuine and remember that everyone secretly wants to feel admired for their appearance and loved for who they are.